


Once and Future

by birdie7272



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, Fucked Up, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Post-Season/Series Finale, heir needed, not graphic just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:54:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdie7272/pseuds/birdie7272
Summary: Arthur was the Once, Merlin is the Future.Gaius looked up from his fire and greeted him with a bow, “Your Majesty.”“I am alone,” the king stated.Gaius nodded at him once and put down the spoon he used to stir his porridge.The king practically sprinted across the room and fell into Gaius’ arms.He wept.Arthur misses Merlin.  Or maybe it’s the other way around.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	Once and Future

It was never supposed to be this way. Then again, maybe it was. 

The townsfolk bowed their head in greeting as their king walked the streets. 

“Long live King Arthur,” they cheered. 

The ban on magic had been lifted. A few dared to show their king a few of their tricks, now that they knew it was safe. 

A man gifted Gwen a rose from thin air. 

A woman gifted Arthur a loaf of bread baked with the heat of the fire in her palm. 

A child gifted Percival a small dagger made from wood he carved using magic’s blade. 

Percy smiled at the child. 

“There it is!” The child cheered. “Knew I could make him smile!”

Percy’s smile dropped the minute the child left. 

They all had reasons for their frown, despite the happy occasion. 

Gwen was persistent in trying to make them happy again. 

It made it worse. 

“Arthur,” Gwen said gently when they were alone, her hand on his. “I know you miss him. We all do. Merlin-” she choked on her own words. “It’s alright if you want to talk about it. Or not talk. I’m here.” She lifted his chin and kissed him. She barely flinched when he pulled away. 

Allowing the comfort brought on too much guilt. Any touches, any kisses, any lingering glances. It all made him feel lower than the dirt. He would need to get over that. At some point Arthur would need an heir. Gwen was his wife. That was how this worked. 

A walk through the castle did not help. 

Percy was staring at Gwaine’s usual spot at the round table. “Sire,” he greeted sharply and immediately departed. 

Counselors pulled at his ear, talking to him as he made his way to Gaius. 

“-treaty with the Druid peoples is maddening-”

“-think through the Southern border and-”

“-winter stocks for the northern-”

A hand silenced them all as he entered Gaius’ chambers. 

Gaius looked up from his fire and greeted him with a bow, “Your Majesty.”

“I am alone,” the king stated. 

Gaius nodded at him once and put down the spoon he used to stir his porridge. 

The king practically sprinted across the room and fell into Gaius’ arms. 

He wept. 

“I hate this,” the king mumbled into Gaius’ shoulder. He made a right mess of the cloth. Tears staining the older man’s tunic. 

“I know, my boy,” Gaius cooed, holding him close. “Oh, Merlin, I know.”

Merlin clung tighter to his mentor, making sure to pull back, wary of Arthur’s muscles being stronger than his own. “I need another draught.”

Gaius nodded into his hair and pulled himself away to gather the supplies. 

Merlin stared at his hands as the magic wore off. 

Arthur’s ring was too big for his finger. Merlin had to catch it before it fell to the floor. 

Arthur’s mother’s ring fit perfectly fine, sliding down to his knuckle and staying in place. 

Merlin traced the dragon of Arthur’s ring in the firelight as he slumped in front of the fire. 

Arthur’s chainmail pooled around him. Always too big. He was simply too fat. Merlin tried to warn him. 

Footsteps sounded down the hall. 

Merlin flung himself from the ground and threw himself into his hold rooms. Dust swirled in the air, enveloping everything Merlin needed to leave behind a year ago. 

Gaius quickly threw the potion’s supplies through the door and shut it so that Merlin was locked away from the other person. 

“Gaius?” It was Gwen’s voice. 

Merlin sunk to the floor and shoved the ingredients together, blinking past the tears blocking his vision. 

“Is he in there?” Gwen asked lowly, still not low enough for Merlin to hear. 

“He has just left, My Queen,” Gaius responded. 

“I’m worried about him,” Gwen said. “He’s not.. It’s not that he’s not himself but…”

Merlin shook his head bitterly. Not himself. Indeed. 

“He has faced many trials, my lady,” Gaius replied. 

“Yes but…” Gwen sighed sadly. “Oh Giaus, I fear for his health. He can’t bring himself to say it or face it. He is unable to move on. I catch him doing Merlin's chores or coming here when he’s due for a meeting or… well...”

“Yes? Something to do with his heath, my lady?”

“He…” Gwen’s skirts shifted and she tried to lower her voice more. “He cannot bring himself to  _ do _ anything.”

Gaius’ tunic rustled and glass clacked together. “He seems to be in fine health. He is doing his duties, despite his … wanderings-”

“No, Gaius-” Gwen huffed. “He- he is not- that is-”

“What is it?”

“He cannot  _ perform _ .”

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Despite proper... stimulation... parts of him remain... uninterested."

"Uninterested in what?"

"Gaius, I can't-"

"My girl, if you do not tell me I'll be forced to ask the king himself."

Gwen sighed loudly. "An heir to the throne will not come if the king cannot rise to the occasion."

Gaius gave an embarrassed, “Oh.”

Merlin downed the potion in one go, despite the chunks of leaves tuck to his teeth. He grimaced and shoved his head in his hands as the magic took hold. 

“I know he and Merlin were close,” Gwen said. “But Merlin died a year ago. Grief can do such things to a man’s… well… um… but it’s been a year. I am being pressured by the people for an heir. From other kingdoms. From counselors. I just need to know. If they… If Merlin somehow… Oh, I don’t know what I am asking. What more can I do, Gaius?”

“I’ll speak with him,” Gaius promised. 

Gwen gave a hurried, “Thank you,” and left. 

Merlin walked out of the room just as his fingers started to tingle. He moved the ring from his knuckle to his fore finger as he watched Arthur’s form fill out the chainmail. 

Merlin’s forehead tingled and he ran his hand through his hair only to come back with locks that were half black and half gold. 

Gaius watched the change with a mournful look. 

Merlin’s throat twitched and his voice changed as he spoke. “Please don’t talk to me about it, Gaius.”

Gaius raised his eyebrow, amused, and reached behind him for another bottle. “Take this. It will help with what you are about to do.”

Merlin’s hands, the king’s hands, wrapped around the vial and sighed aloud. “Thank you.”

“Merlin,” Gaius said and wrapped him in a hug once again. “You don’t need to keep doing this.”

Merlin felt the tears drip down his face. Foreign. Arthur’s body was not meant for crying. 

Merlin knew what Arthur wanted in his kingdom. Destiny did not play out as it was supposed to. It was supposed to be Arthur leading the kingdom. Not a mock copy who barely knew what he was doing. And yet there was no choice. Bitterly, Merlin was angry at Arthur for dying on that hill. There was no need for it. He left Merlin alone to lead his kingdom in his stead. It was the only way. 

“I have to,” Merlin said. “For Arthur. For Albion. For a little while longer.”

Always a little while longer. It was difficult at first, to lead when he did not know how. Everyone thought it was Arthur’s grief over the loss of his men, his sister, his manservant. Then Merlin took charge before anyone else could disrupt the peace he was promised. Sitting in the back of counsel meetings, reading Arthur’s speeches, advising the king before his death, it all lead him to where they were now. A kingdom of peace. 

One year more, maybe two. All he needed was a guarantee that Arthur’s kingdom would be safe and then he could die in battle. Disappear. Become Merlin once again. 

For that he would need an heir. 

Merlin drank the potion Gaius gave him in one go before parting to find Gwen. 

The counselors were on him again but held their tongue when they saw him drag the Queen into the royal chambers. 

“Arthur,” Gwen laughed. “What is it?”

Merlin held his breath and kissed her. 

Gwen giggled and pulled back, searching his eyes. “Where did that come from?”

Merlin furrowed his brow and kissed her again, forcing himself not to think of who it was, of who she thought he was. 

Gwen deepened the kiss with her tongue and pulled him quickly close. Her hand slid down his front and found the bulge the herbs provided in his trousers. She pulled back sharply and lifted her brow playfully. 

Merlin spun her around to face the bed instead of him. He pulled at her hair and kissed down her neck, cringing against her hairline. 

She moaned and pushed back into him. “Yes, Arthur.”

Merlin hiked up her skirts with his eyes closed. 

Nine months later an heir would be born. With dark hair and golden eyes. 


End file.
